Black Friday

Black Friday is the twelfth original online musical from Team Starkid. It is the second installment of the Hatchetfield Universe. It played at the Hudson Theatre from October 31st to December 8th, 2019. The show was released to YouTube on February 29, 2020.

Summary
Black Friday  is a new horror-comedy musical about the shopping day from hell. When the holiday season’s hottest new toy, the Tickle-Me Wiggly, hits the shelves, the city of Hatchetfield goes mad for it, literally. That’s when Tom Houston, Lex Foster, Becky Barnes, and a few familiar faces, must fight through a sea of murderous mall-goers to save humanity from an interdimensional being with a taste for chaos. When Wiggly comes to town, will the world survive Black Friday?

Black Friday is set in an alternate reality of The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals, as they are both in the same town of Hatchetfield and have characters in both shows, but portray events that could not co-exist. Both shows take place in 2018.

Act One
The musical opens with Uncle Wiley inviting the Sniggles onstage. They sing and dance about the new toy Tickle-Me Wiggly, an "underwater creature from out of this world" who's "deep down in drowsy town sleeping the dreamless sleep of the dead" that can be purchased this Black Friday in a style similar to a children's toy commercial (Wiggly Jingle).

The scene shifts to Paul Matthews and Emma Perkins driving. The Wiggly Jingle theme is playing, and an annoyed Paul switches the music off. Irritated by the jingle, he goes on a rant about how much he doesn't like the "advertising firms with their catchy jingles that worm their way into your brain". Soon after, Paul and Emma arrive at Tom Houston Emma's brother in law's house. Emma explains that the car crash that killed her sister was last year and that she's done messing things up. Emma and Paul are let inside the Houston house and greet Tim Houston.

Paul introduces himself to Tim, and Tim tells Paul and Emma that his dad gets flashbacks, much to the dismay of Tom who says he "remembers bad things vividly." Tom then explains that he'll only be gone for a few hours, which causes Emma to believe she was mislead and is babysitting, as opposed to taking part in a family get-together with the Houstons.

Tom tells Tim that he needs a new blade for his bandsaw, to cover up the fact that he's trying to get Tim a Tickle-Me Wiggly doll as a Christmas gift. Paul and Emma upsettedly tell Tom that he should have been in line last night if he wanted a chance at getting Tim the doll at all. Tom laments over the fact that he feels like a bad father to his son since the car crash when he's all Tom has left (What Tim Wants).

Lex Foster is seen leaning up against the back wall of Toy Zone, lighting a cigarette as Tom tries to park in the loading dock. She tells him that the sign says "no parking at any time" but that the loading trucks "can just park across the street" if that works for him.

Tom realizes that the retail worker he's talking to is his former student Lex, and is disappointed to see what she's doing with her life after dropping out of high school, since she was doing alright in his class. Lex remarks that it was shop class, where "you get an A if you don't chop off your fingers." Tom tells her that he wouldn't hold an accident like that against her, but she's still upset over him leaving, asking how it feels to be a role model after detailing her high school downfall that led to her dropping out after he left due to a family emergency.

An upset Tom says that it's not a very fair thing to say, but Lex tells him that it doesn't matter because she has a job, as stock girl at Toy Zone.

After hearing this, Tom tries to persuade Lex to set aside a Tickle-Me-Wiggly doll for him, but Lex tells him that "that would be violating company policy" and tells him to get in line like everyone else, and that the line's backed up to Nordstrom. Tom runs off to get in line, and yells at Lex to let them tow his car.

Frank Pricely enters, singing his own rendition of "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" and signs off on a order for 850 Wiggly dolls. Frank asks Lex why it's called Black Friday, and Lex snarkily responds "because it comes after Thursday". Frank explains that it's because it is the day when most stores go from being in the red - losing money - to being in the black - making money.

The delivery boy, who is presumed to be Uncle Wiley, tells Frank that the dolls are going to take them so far into the black "that you ain't ever coming back." The pair laughs, and Uncle Wiley tells Frank that they are "gonna make a killing". He starts to exit, before stopping just past Lex and catcalls her, saying "hello naughty list," much to Lex's disliking.

Frank asks Lex for some hustle on that day, saying that it's the holiest say for store owners. In turn, Lex remarks that she want time-and-a-half if that day is so holy. Frank berates her for her attitude problem, and tells her to unload the Wiggly dolls. After he leaves, Lex pulls out a Wiggly, and tells it "you're gonna help me out a lot more than you know" before stuffing it into her backpack.

As she does so, Ethan Green enters and yells that there's a shoplifter, scaring Lex. He tells her that it was just a goof, and she asks him where her little sister Hannah is. Ethan jokes that he must have forgotten her even though its been what she tells him "every day for the past four weeks". He goes to retrieve Hannah, who doesn't want to be there. Lex asks if today is a good day or a bad day, to which Hannah replies that it's a bad day. Lex tells Hannah that she gets to wear Lex's backpack, but Hannah says that she's not supposed to, because Webby told her.

In an attempt to get her to wear the backpack for the day, Ethan give Hannah a hat that's "imbued with the power of Grayskull" and nothing can harm her while wearing it. Hannah takes the hat and the backpack, and Ethan tells Lex that he'd make a great dad.

Lex says that Ethan just needs to watch Hannah until Lex gets off of work at noon and then they can leave the town. Ethan explains that there's been a complication with the buyer of the Tickle-Me Wiggly doll that Lex took from the order, and that someone is willing to play seven thousand dollars for the doll, meaning that they can get away from the town. Lex writes a letter to her mom, saying that she's leaving town and taking Hannah with her, and they make plans to leave for California so that Lex can be an actress (Califor.M.I.A).

Outside of the Toy Zone, a massive line has formed of people eager to buy the new Wiggly. Linda Monroe, president of the Hatchetfield Boating Society, wealthy socialite and self proclaimed "community leader" arrives late but is able to buy her way ahead in line.

Becky Barnes, a nurse at the local hospital and who is a couple spaces further back, attempts to address Linda about this and it's revealed there's a rivalry between the two dating back to high school. When Becky's pleas towards both Linda and the customer she paid off don't work, she attempts to turn the crowd against her, which fails too. Linda then taunts Becky with rumors about both Becky's husband Stanley leaving her and his abusive behavior to her beforehand, ending by saying she doesn't hate her for being naive but "because [she's] so weak". At this point, Tom shows up and tries to buy Becky's spot in line.

Fed up, she turns to chew him out, before seeing who it is. As Tom and Becky reconnect, rumors throughout the rest of the shoppers reveal that they were a popular couple in high school but broke up when Tom joined the military and the townspeople are eager to see them get back together (What Do You Say).

Lex then comes out to open the doors and instructs everyone there to buy a Wiggly to form a single file line. Frank can barely contain his excitement as he invites the shoppers in and encourages their already excessive desire to buy (Our Doors Are Open).

Frank then begins taking customers at the check out desk to sell Wigglies. Things go downhill quickly, though as the very first customer, Sherman Young tries to buy all the Wigglies in the store before anyone else can.

Frank's about to accept the sale when Linda steps in and complains that, even if Sherman does have the money to do so, it is unfair to everyone else and threatens to sic her lawyer Gary Goldstein (who's also in line) on the toy store. Following that threat and the growing anger of the crowd, Frank decides to set a policy that customers can only buy one Wiggly a piece. While most of the crowd is ok with this switch, Linda is upset again as she wanted to buy four Wigglies, on for each of her sons. Sherman is also displeased, as he waited for days to buy them all and now has his purchase taken away at the last minute (also 'cause he's a pervert with extensive plans for each Wiggly). Gary Goldstein then steps in to try to defend Sherman instead before Linda knees him in the crotch and sends him back in line.

Another customer (Man In A Hurry) steps in to start a bidding war for the Wigglies that Linda and a number of the other customers join in on. Frank, blinded by greed, begins auctioning off the Wigglies to the highest bidder, causing one of the other customers who can't afford the rising prizes to charge the register and snatch a Wiggly from Frank's hands. This leads to the other customers assaulting each other and the Toy Zone staff to grab ahold of the dolls. Eventually, the mob overpowers Frank, takes over the store and begin rioting throughout the mall (Feast or Famine).

Meanwhile, in another part of the mall, Ethan tries taking Hannah to see Santa Claus is Going to High School as they wait for Lex to get off work. When Ethan can't afford the expensive tickets, he threatens the cashier with forced concealment in a locker he would then fart into, or as they call it the "easy-bake oven".

He's interrupted by a passing security, but before Ethan can be kicked out, the guard is called away to deal with the Toy Zone situation. Ethan and Hannah run to a different part of the mall where Ethan apologizes for not getting her into the movie, and tries to console what he believes are her worries about fleeing for California. Hannah remains unsettled though from Webby's warnings and tells Ethan it will get "badder, much badder".

Ethan and Hannah are then attacked by the rampaging customers. Ethan sends Hannah away, telling her to go hide in the kiddie tunnel at the PlayPlace, as he attempts to fight off the mob. Two of the customers overpower Ethan and proceed to beat him to death before realizing he doesn't have a doll on him. Becky runs in with a doll, though, and they attempt to rush her, but Tom swoops in to rescue her and chase them off. Tom and Becky find Ethan as he lies dying, using his last words to tell a not-present Lex that he'd get her to California so "you don't gotta cry so much no more". Becky encourages Tom to leave, but Tom won't give up on getting his son a Wiggly.

The Man In a Hurry then enters, demanding the Wiggly. Tom attempts to fight him off like the others, but he has a knife and stabs Tom in his side. As Becky rushes to help Tom, the man snatches the Wiggly from her hand and runs off.

In the chaos, Linda managed to escape from the mob, but was unable to get a hold of a Wiggly. Linda is then approached by Wilbur Cross, now out of both his Uncle Wiley and Frank the delivery guy personas.

While Linda's initially aggressive and threatening towards him, he slowly convinces her to let her guard down as he promises to fulfill her actual desires, to be adored unconditionally by many people without having to give anything up to them.

All she has to do is "bring about the birth of a friendy-wend" of Wilbur's. Wilbur then opens Linda's eyes to the true Wiggly, making her a true worshipper.

A television broadcast informs us that similar riots are happening in mobs all across America as shoppers are being caught up in a "Wiggly Frenzy". The situation has gotten so bad that President Howard Goodman declares a state of emergency and holds a meeting with his senior staff to find a solution. The Secretary of Defense initially wants to send in a militia to deal with the "uprising" but the Secretary of State attempts to cool the heads in the room.

The Vice President (who is implied to be an alternate universe Barack Obama) explains that the "shopper mania" seems to be spawned by the Tickle-Me Wiggly doll and reveals he has one with him on hand.

President Goodman is skeptical at first but slowly he and the other people in the room begin to fall under the sway of Wiggly, each making greater and greater threats against each other and their families to get a hold of the doll.

A figure then enters the oval office and shoots the doll right out of the Vice President's hands, breaking the spell. The figure reveals himself to be General John McNamara of the US Army and special secret organization P.E.I.P. in particular. McNamara explains that P.E.I.P. is designed to fight against strange and supernatural situations such as this one and that he needs the President's help to fight back against an Eldritch being making its way into our world. Seeing the president's hesitance, McNamara eventually convinces the president that he must "become his best self now" and do his duty to fight Wiggly (Monsters and Men).

Act Two
Act two opens with a scene from Santa Claus Goes to High School, in which Santa Claus has disguised himself as teenaged basketball star Chris Kringle and he has to hide that identity from Noel, a popular girl and clear love interest of the movie (Deck the Halls (Of Northville High)).

The scene is broken by a recently awakened Tom asking "what the fuck am I watching?" It's revealed by Becky that she brought him into the movie theater so she could patch up his knife wound away from the mob.

As Tom recovers, the two reconnect as they realize they're in the same seats they'd use from where they used to date, even revealing that the penis they carved under them is still there. As they watch the "real bad" movie, the two recollect their time together and how they grew apart after Tom was deployed overseas.

Becky tries once more to convince Tom to leave the store, saying that there are no dolls left, but the other shoppers are organizing to find them anyway. Tom refuses, snapping at her as she tries to stop him from leaving to look for a doll again.

Tom reveals that he was driving in the car crash where his wife died and that he blames himself for the incident; he feels he needs to get a Wiggly to fix his relationship with his son.

Becky, in response, reveals that Stanley didn't run out on her. She reveals that she had wanted to go to Tom's wife's funeral and was stopped by her husband, causing her to snap and lash out at him.

When she did that, he got violent and chased her out of the house and into the woods with a knife. At some point in the scuffle, Becky was able to get the knife from him and stab him in the "femoral artery" before leaving him bleeding out. She doesn't know for sure he's dead, but she hopes he is and feels guilty about that as well.

As Tom consoles her, the two rekindle their old relationship, wanting to return to happier times (Take Me Back). As the two make-out and proceed to have sex; Tom declares Santa Claus Goes to High School "the best movie ever."

As General McNamara takes President Goodman to P.E.I.P. HQ and introduces him to the other P.E.I.P. scientists, he proceeds to explain the situation with Wiggly. McNamara reveals that there are many different dimensions but beyond all of them is a void swirling with psychic energy that P.E.I.P. has dubbed "the Black and White".

It's in the Black and White that they discovered Wiggly 13 years prior when ex-P.E.I.P. agent Wilbur Cross crossed into the Black and White via a portal they constructed.

According to McNamara, Cross emerged a "raving lunatic" who "pledged his undying loyalty" to Wiggly before disappearing (likely to become Wiggly's agent in our reality). Wiggly wants to come through into our reality to rule it like his own, and McNamara's plan is to send the president in to negotiate a peace deal. President Goodman is initially unwilling, but is convinced after McNamara claims it will only get worse if Wiggly's followers build his "birth canal" and allow him through.

Meanwhile, back at the mall, the customers who were unable to get a Wiggly doll in the riot have taken over the mall and formed a cult to Wiggly, believing if they worship Wiggly and do his bidding they'll eventually be rewarded with a Wiggly doll of their own. Under the orders of Wiggly's "prophet", Linda, the cult has captured Frank and Lex who they believe have hidden a doll somewhere in the mall.

Linda reveals that in order to bring Wiggly through she needs the doll to act as "vessel for his essence" (although, she still really wants four of them). Frank begs for his life and offers to get them a doll from the manufacturer, but not knowing about Hannah and the backpack can't tell them about the doll still left in the mall, and is killed by Linda.

Lex refuses to cooperate, but the security guard, now also under the thrall of Wiggly, reveals he's seen Lex hiding the doll in Hannah's backpack on the security cameras. Linda sends her followers to find Hannah despite Lex's pleas as she also laps up the attention and affection the cult gives her (Adore Me).

While hiding in the PlayPlace, Hannah is approached by a spectral version of Ethan from the Black and White.

While Ethan's first very calm and comforting, as Hannah realizes he's being controlled by Wiggly, he turns more angry and aggressive. Eventually, Hannah stops talking to him and speaks to Wiggly directly through the doll. When she doesn't give in to his sway (as Webby warns her about him), Wiggly starts threatening her instead, saying he'll cut her in half and eat her "like a rotten, little banana".

Tom and Becky then enter and see Hannah with the Wiggly. Now fully under Wiggly's spell, they take on a predatory nature as Hannah flees. Becky reveals she has a sedative on her and the two attempt to lure Hannah out with promises of safety and treats (Do You Want to Play?).

Eventually Tom is able to grab Hannah, but Becky fails to inject her with the sedative, driving it into her own leg instead. Becky, overcome by the medicine falls on top of Hannah pinning her to the ground.

Tom is able to get a hold of the doll but decides he's gonna take it for himself now, forgetting about Tim. He then abandons the drugged Becky and Hannah who are shortly kidnapped by the cult.

Back at P.E.I.P. HQ, President Goodman prepares to enter the Black and White, dressed in a suit and helmet to protect him. When Goodman expresses concern about the plan, McNamara assures him that they have a hydrogen bomb on stand-by, hoping the threat of his own annihilation may convince Wiggly to stand down. President Goodman enters the portal into the Black and White, where he eventually comes across Wilbur Cross.

While Goodman tries to get Cross to give him a face-to-face with Wiggly, Cross toys with him instead. Cross explains that Wiggly used a doll as a vessel because consumerism and products are the only things left that people actually believe in.

Having lost radio contact with the president by this point, McNamara rushes to enter the portal himself and get him out.

As that's happening, Cross continues to mock the president, claiming he, American consumer culture and the shitty state of affairs the country is in were what made it fertile ground for Wiggly to launch his attack (Made in America). After Cross and the Sniggles converge on Goodman, he is eventually brought face to face with Wiggly (portrayed as just tentacles and two giant lights for eyes).

As Goodman tries to stand up to Wiggly, the eldritch creature just laughs and prepares to eat him before McNamara steps in to save him with a "sword of truth". McNamara sends the President back through the portal but says he can't leave with him. McNamara entered the Black and White without a suit and was becoming part of the psychic energy that makes it up.

Upon returning to our dimension, Goodman orders the hydrogen bomb to be deployed into the Black and White, but once it is, they don't hear it go off. It's revealed that the Russians had their own portal and Wiggly sent the bomb through to Moscow instead, where it destroyed the Russian capital, Wiggly's plan from the very beginning.

As the army prepares for a Russian retaliation, Goodman breaks down claiming it's not his fault, how could he have known there were "two doors, not one."

Back at the mall, Sherman, fully indoctrinated into the cult, brings Lex to the back to sacrifice her to Wiggly. Lex begs for freedom, almost convincing him to let her go with promises of "misprinted pony toys". However, when he learns those were a lie, he overpowers her and attempts to strangle her to death in a rage.

As Lex is being choked to death, she reflects on her life and laments not being able to help Hannah (Black Friday). However, in her last moments, she sees General McNamara come to her from the Black and White.

He offers her his gun to save herself and stop Wiggly. She claims she can't reach it, but McNamara tells her that she has the same psychic powers her sister has and encourages her to use them to break into the Black and White and save herself (Monsters and Men (Reprise)). Lex is able to, shoots Sherman, and escapes.

McNamara tells her that she must defeat Wiggly here so "he can be defeated anywhere" and tells her to find "the warrior of light trapped in a deep sleep", meaning Tom.

Lex finds Tom just as he's about to exit from the mall. Lex tries to convince Tom to drop the doll and come help her, but Tom believes Lex's just trying to trick him and take it for herself. Lex is able to get through to Tom eventually by pointing out that Tim doesn't want the doll, 'cause no child actually likes the toy. Wiggly's only wanted by adults who believe he can fill whatever void is missing in their life.

Tom thinks back and can't think of a moment Tim actually said he wanted a Wiggly either. Tom thinks back on a time he was shopping with his father and didn't get a toy gun he wanted, but didn't care because he was spending time with his father. Tom realizes that Tim just wants to connect and he breaks free from Wiggly's spell (If I Fail You). Tom tosses the doll aside and agrees to go with Lex to save Hannah and Becky.

Hannah and Becky are brought before Linda who proceeds to mock them again, but is disappointed to find Becky knocked out by the drugs and unable to hear her, so she has the cultists carry her away.

Linda's disappointment grows when she opens Hannah's backpack and doesn't find a doll, leading to her threatening Hannah with a knife. Lex arrives with the doll, though, using the doll's hold on the cult to distract them so Tom can sneak up on Linda with a gun.

Lex threatens to burn the doll, causing Linda to freak out, overpower Tom and take the doll from Lex. Believing she's won, Linda leads the cult in worship of Wiggly (Wiggle).

As they prepare to create the portal for Wiggly, Becky shows up and shoots Linda in the head. As the cult mourns their prophet, Lex grabs the doll from the ground and lights it on fire, telling the cultists to "abandon your god, or burn here with him." The cultists all grab hold of the doll, catching fire as they do, and eventually the whole mall is ablaze.

Tom, Becky, Lex and Hannah all escape from the burning mall to the road outside it, where they are met by Paul and Emma in the station wagon with Tim.

Paul tells the others about the bombing of Moscow and says that the news went out as they were talking about it becoming WWIII. Emma tells Tom they were going to take Tim out of town, where it's safe, but that Tim wouldn't let them leave without him. Tom says that after this was over, they'd need to all sit down and finally talk about Jane's death.

Emma tells the others she knows a "kooky, reclusive biology professor" (Professor Hidgens from The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals) with a panic room and they might be safe there. As they plan to drive there, Tom notes that it's almost midnight, meaning Black Friday's almost over, believing that if they can survive today, they can survive anything.

As the final minutes of Black Friday pass, Hannah sings about her fears and uncertainty in what will actually come with tomorrow, fears shared by everyone else in town. As Tom and the group count down the final seconds of Black Friday, a plane is heard flying overhead, but we don't know its purpose or destination (What If Tomorrow Comes).

Act One
Wiggly Jingle - Uncle Wiley and Sniggles

What Tim Wants - Tom

CaliforM.I.A - Lex Foster and Ethan Green

What Do You Say - Shoppers

Our Doors Are Open - Frank with Lex and Shoppers

Feast or Famine - Everyone

Monsters And Men - Gen. McNamara and the President with Cabinet Members

Act Two
Deck The Halls - Kris Kringle and Northfield High School Students

Take Me Back - Tom and Becky with Kris Kringle, Noel, Jingle, and Jangle

Adore Me- Linda and Shoppers

Do You Want To Play - Tom and Becky

Made In America- Uncle Wiley and Sniggles

Black Friday - Lex

Monsters And Men (Reprise) - Gen. McNamara

If I Fail You - Tom

Wiggle - Linda and Shoppers

What If Tomorrow Comes - Hannah and Company

Additional Info

 * Al Foster was originally announced to play Lex Foster. However, due to her upcoming role as Inej Ghafa in the Netflix original series Shadow and Bone having conflicting schedules with Black Friday's rehearsal and debut, she recommended her friend Charlotte Banning to play Lex.


 * Professor Hidgens from TGWDLM is mentioned in the end of the musical (among many other references to TGWDLM).
 * This is the first Starkid show to feature a child actor.
 * Due to so many of the cast members getting sick, a performance of the show was cancelled coincidentally on Black Friday. Instead, the remaining cast members held a cabaret that ticket-holders could attend at the scheduled performance time.